Deadzone…version 2.0

Throwback blog from yesterday that I just posted today:

Today is Sunday, the 5th of August at 3 in the afternoon. Am in the backyard, composing this blog while playing frisbee and ball with my three dogs, Chazzy, Walter, and Peter Parker. My mind is rioting with ideas on how to rise above my deadzone state. I used to have a planner. Am thinking, would a planner help me get motivated to do the things that I wanted to do? How can I block my precious pages eBook? How can I be consistent in exercising every day? How can I finish one project a week related to house improvements? How can I save money to pay for my debts? How can I be consistently motivated  to wake up early  every day and do the things I wanted to do? How can I keep up with my studies and get very good grades?   So many questions and I know the answers but NO INERTIA TO DO WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO. I have been meaning to talk to a psychologist for awhile now. I got the phone # and it is just one click away.  I have been reading, and I self diagnosed myselft  that I might be suffering from a borderline personality disorder (BPD). I need  to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist to really know for sure what I have or have not. . I bought an e-book on BPD. I haven’t read the book yet and will read it next week.

It is a CONSTANT STRUGGLE to be in a ying and yang state of mind plus having some self-esteem issues. If and when I see a psychologist, I’ll provide you an insight on the diagnosis as well as what management can be done.

I am planning to buy this KIKKI planner but I have to save up first because it cost like 74 bucks minus the monogram, shipping, and taxes. If I do buy one,  I need to used it consistently rather than on a need to need basis and should be part of my lifestyle change.