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How do you navigate a life full of ambivalence?

How do you deal with a life influenced by the people around you?

How do you  deal with addictions of laziness, movies, phone, and bed?

These are few of  the questions that questions my mental health…

 

 

 

Storm…

For the past two weeks, I had been in the eye of the storm. I was ready to pack up, go home to my home country, and create a new life. I am losing grip of who I am, where I am heading, and how can I get my financials and personal life in shape. It is a daily struggle and it is of no help if you have someone who belittles you every other day of what you have not done. When one have self-esteem issues and you are in a relationship with someone who has more issues than you are is a RECIPE FOR DISASTER! My current life is a cyclical of negativity then a bit of peace then back to negativity. I wish to drown myself of the misery and glue myself to the negativity that is surrounding my life so I would not have to get up and face another day. When you have NO VOICE and NOBODY is listening to you, they see you but they do not really see you..What would you do? Maybe, become invincible indefinitely……..

Ambiguity

What would you do if you feel empty, destitude, and ready to quit? Ambiguity about one’s  life choices means to be a death sentence. For a very long time, I go where the wind flows. Where did it got me?  A temporary refuge of darkness. I envy those people who knows where the light is and wants to aspire to be in it consistently. Consistency, persistence, and positivity are all the values that I lack. The 21 days rule of changing a habit is too much burden for me because at day 7, I crack and I go back to my old ways, old habits.

A quote (pulled out from google images) that I need to reflect on.